A question of time

If I’m supposed to start updating this blog on Sundays after my long run, I’m either doing very well or very poorly – seeing as how it’s Monday! But since it had been months since I updated, I figure being a day late isn’t too bad. Even now, though, I’m whipping this post off before heading to a doctor’s appointment, picking up Andrew from school, getting groceries, picking up Chris from daycare… and I do still have tons of work!

After yesterday’s 10K group run, I’ve figured out one very important thing. I am becoming obsessed with time, and not in a good way. I know that, when running, you’re really only running to beat yourself. But I’m starting to really panic about my 10K time (much like I did with the 5K), and I’m worried it’s taking the enjoyment out of running for me.

I originally planned to train hard enough to take my 10K time down to 55 minutes. But the more I run, the more unlikely it seems that I will meet that goal. That’s a whole four minutes I have to shave off my time (four minutes and 20 seconds, to be precise), and I think I might be putting too much pressure on myself.

Part of the problem is the running clinic I’m in. Before, we had very few people in our clinic, and I was one of the fastest runners. Now, we have 37 people – and while I’m not the slowest, I’m also nowhere near the fastest! But who cares, right? I do, only not for the reasons you’d think.

See, the problem is that I’d made some running buddies in the “fast” crowd – and now my buddies are outpacing me. I want to keep up with them because we’ve had some great conversations on our runs, and they make the runs a lot more fun for me. But I can’t. I simply can’t run that fast. Some will end up breaking 50 minutes on the 10K, and it’s never going to happen for me.

I guess the point would be to make new running buddies. But I really LIKE the people I run with now. So I either get faster – or let it kill me.

To try and get a little faster, I’ve been upping my speed workouts. Will it pay off on race day? I think it’s unlikely. I think I’m running about as fast as I can go. So what should I do?

I don’t have the answer, but I do know I plan to take a bit of the pressure off myself. Next Sunday, when I run with the group, if I can’t keep up, well, I guess I’ll talk to my buddies after. And if I run the 10K race in an hour, then I do. It’s not the Olympics, after all. Running is supposed to be FUN. If I keep worrying about my time, I’ll drive myself crazy. So fun it is.

Less than two weeks until race day… we’ll see what happens then.

Happy trails…