And here I thought taking the summer off would mean I had MORE time to write! Instead, it’s been even longer between posts. Although, I did spend most of June trying to cram in the rest of the summer’s work ahead of time, so hopefully I can forgive myself for not finding the time to update my blog. Then the beginning of July was devoted to vacation, and now we are finally settling into a good summer routine. I finally have time to pull together some random running thoughts that have been circulating in my head for a while. (Running through my head? Pardon the pun!)
First, let’s start with the Moon in June 5K race. My goal was to beat my 5K PB (personal best) of 27:10. I managed to shave more than two minutes off that time, coming in at 25:06 and placing 5th out of 71 in my age group. (And, because my birthday is not until December, I’m still in the 30-34 age group!) It was certainly a great night for all of us who ran, including Mike, who ran his first 5K in 30:31. We also ran with our friends, who did well, seeing as how it was his first 5K and her first in more than 8 or 9 years. We ended the evening on an incredible high, and now all three of them are training for the Harvest Moon 5K in October. I’ve decided to sit that one out, however, and look after all the kids. (It’s only two weeks after my next half marathon!)
Achieving that goal I had of beating my 5K PB certainly got me thinking over the last few weeks about this whole running journey. It’s not just about the physical changes or how fast I run, but how it’s also changing me on the inside. Sure, I’m lighter, stronger and faster than I’ve ever been, but I’m also less tired, less anxious and more centered than before. It’s like my training program isn’t just reshaping my body, it’s also reshaping my mind and soul at the same time.
I’ll give you an example. Last year, I never would have dreamed of taking two months off of work. Or even taking a weekend off, for that matter. No, because I am self-employed, I felt like the burden fell completely on me. Even taking a week off was a huge undertaking, and I would never have quit one job and informed the other that I was taking an extended amount of time off.
But something has changed in me, and changed for the better. I did choose to quit a job that required me to work weekends and odd hours, taking time away from my family and causing an inordinate amount of stress. I called the other client and informed them that I was going to do four months of work in two months, then take two months off. And they were 100 percent on board. “If anyone can do it, you can,” the publisher informed me. “I say go for it.”
And I’m even trying to ensure my workouts don’t get in the way of my kids this summer. I’ve been getting up at 5:30 a.m. to run, a few mornings a week. I’m trying to minimize the number of days they go to the YMCA. I’m doing evening and early morning Tread Powerfully classes so I can fit my workouts in when Mike gets home. And I’ve even started swimming, so I can do laps while the kids have fun in the pool.
I’m also using this time to accomplish some of the never-ending things on my to-do list. I’ve started to get ready to (finally!) paint the living room, a much-needed update, since the previous owners used the cheapest possible paint to “fluff” the house before we bought it two years ago. I’m cleaning and organizing my bathroom, kitchen and the boys’ rooms, hopefully before school starts. Not to mention spending a bit of time on my own personal writing projects, long abandoned in the hustle and bustle of daily life.
And although I’m worried about what will happen in September, I’m trying not to let it bother me too much. Yes, by then, I will need to find something to replace the job I quit, or possibly even go back to a “regular” office job. (The woes of being self-employed are many, especially when you don’t get paid in a timely fashion. Our finances take a hit whenever that happens… and it may be time to throw in the towel.) I’m taking some time to think about it over the summer and try to find the right answer. Opportunity knocks when you least expect it, right? At least, that’s what I hope.
For now, I’m going to enjoy my summer. The kids and I have been swimming (even though the pool heater is broken… brrr!!), and today we’re going to start a special project of painting canvases to adorn my front hall as art. I told Mike that I don’t even care if the art ends up being a giant picture of Optimus Prime (Andrew’s favourite thing to draw) and an endless loop of “678” (Christopher’s favourite thing to draw). I just want some original art done by the boys to forever remember this summer.
And of course, I will keep running! (And going to Tread Powerfully… so far, I’m running three times a week, going to Tread three times a week, doing one intense strength class a week and swimming a few times a week.) It’s going very well, and I feel very strong when running. I’m getting a bit faster, and hopefully that will show when I run the half in September.
Happy trails…
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
The lie
I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, my husband and I told ourselves the same lie all new parents tell themselves: our baby will be different. (He wasn’t.) When I was pregnant with number two, we told ourselves the next lie: this time, it will be different because we know what we’re doing. (It wasn’t. We didn’t.)
The truth is that we do lie to ourselves all the time. The problem is we don’t always realize we’re lying.
I’ve had a chance to think about that recently. I realized I have been lying to myself for a long time. Almost three years, to be exact.
It started when I lost *all* the baby weight after having the aforementioned baby number two. It took a year, but I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. That is the telling statement there: pre-pregnancy weight.
That doesn’t mean it was my ideal weight. But I had convinced myself that was the best I could do. “I’m just a bigger person,” I’d tell myself. Or, “I’ve tried really hard to lose more weight and it’s IMPOSSIBLE. I must be meant to be this size.” Or, “I’d have to STARVE myself in order to lose weight.”
So I continued running. I continued working out. I started working out more. I trained for a half marathon. Still, my weight stayed the same. It must be true, then, right? I really was at my ideal weight.
And yet, there was that little voice inside me that knew I was lying to myself. I knew my eating habits weren’t as good as they could be. In fact, they were becoming downright awful.
Instead of eating my usual salad for lunch, I’d started buying focaccia buns and cheese from the deli every once in a while. Then it was every week. Or I’d sit down with a bag of “exotic” veggie chips after dinner. Once a week. Or eat an entire container of wasabi peas.
By the time April rolled around, I’d actually put five extra pounds on top of my pre-pregnancy weight. I felt chubby, and chunky, like all that working out wasn’t making one bit of difference. Yes, I was still running/power walking/weight training and just generally exercising six to seven days a week. But it wasn’t enough. I was lying to myself.
After talking to my fitness buddies and Sue, my Tread Powerfully instructor, I knew it was time to stop telling myself that lie. I knew how to eat properly. I just wasn’t doing it.
I re-joined Weight Watchers and started really keeping track of what I was eating. I went back to eating salads, chicken breast, salmon, sweet potatoes and all those good foods I knew I should eat. I (mostly) cut out the junk, and when I did eat the junk, I didn’t overindulge. And even then, I kept my overindulgence to within my allotted WW points values for the day and week.
It’s a sensible system for people who already know the basics of good nutrition. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it for everyone, but if you know how to eat properly and just don’t (and I’m a perfect example), it can really help keep that calorie in/calorie out equation in the right balance.
I also started ordering my produce from an organic farm. Once a week, I pick up my order of organic fruits and veggies from a house nearby, where it gets dropped off. It actually works out to be cheaper than buying the stuff from the grocery store and it’s different every week. It’s fun to see what veggies and fruit we get each week, and trying to figure out new and exciting meals to make with our fresh produce.
So I stopped lying to myself, and I feel better for it. I have to admit, since I started paying attention to what I’m eating, I feel more alert, I have more energy, and I’m in a better mood. (At least some of the time! But there’s another lie to start working on…) I even get up at 5:45 a few mornings a week to go for my run. Now there’s energy for you!
And I’m happy to report I’ve dropped 13 pounds! It turns out I could lose some weight without starving myself. I just had to start paying attention to what I was eating. Now let’s see if the new, lighter me can kick my own ass at the 5K race on Saturday.
My best 5K time is 27:10. Can I beat it? We’ll find out on Saturday for sure… those insecurities are best left to another time! (Let’s just say I hope I’m not lying to myself again!)
Happy trails…
The truth is that we do lie to ourselves all the time. The problem is we don’t always realize we’re lying.
I’ve had a chance to think about that recently. I realized I have been lying to myself for a long time. Almost three years, to be exact.
It started when I lost *all* the baby weight after having the aforementioned baby number two. It took a year, but I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. That is the telling statement there: pre-pregnancy weight.
That doesn’t mean it was my ideal weight. But I had convinced myself that was the best I could do. “I’m just a bigger person,” I’d tell myself. Or, “I’ve tried really hard to lose more weight and it’s IMPOSSIBLE. I must be meant to be this size.” Or, “I’d have to STARVE myself in order to lose weight.”
So I continued running. I continued working out. I started working out more. I trained for a half marathon. Still, my weight stayed the same. It must be true, then, right? I really was at my ideal weight.
And yet, there was that little voice inside me that knew I was lying to myself. I knew my eating habits weren’t as good as they could be. In fact, they were becoming downright awful.
Instead of eating my usual salad for lunch, I’d started buying focaccia buns and cheese from the deli every once in a while. Then it was every week. Or I’d sit down with a bag of “exotic” veggie chips after dinner. Once a week. Or eat an entire container of wasabi peas.
By the time April rolled around, I’d actually put five extra pounds on top of my pre-pregnancy weight. I felt chubby, and chunky, like all that working out wasn’t making one bit of difference. Yes, I was still running/power walking/weight training and just generally exercising six to seven days a week. But it wasn’t enough. I was lying to myself.
After talking to my fitness buddies and Sue, my Tread Powerfully instructor, I knew it was time to stop telling myself that lie. I knew how to eat properly. I just wasn’t doing it.
I re-joined Weight Watchers and started really keeping track of what I was eating. I went back to eating salads, chicken breast, salmon, sweet potatoes and all those good foods I knew I should eat. I (mostly) cut out the junk, and when I did eat the junk, I didn’t overindulge. And even then, I kept my overindulgence to within my allotted WW points values for the day and week.
It’s a sensible system for people who already know the basics of good nutrition. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it for everyone, but if you know how to eat properly and just don’t (and I’m a perfect example), it can really help keep that calorie in/calorie out equation in the right balance.
I also started ordering my produce from an organic farm. Once a week, I pick up my order of organic fruits and veggies from a house nearby, where it gets dropped off. It actually works out to be cheaper than buying the stuff from the grocery store and it’s different every week. It’s fun to see what veggies and fruit we get each week, and trying to figure out new and exciting meals to make with our fresh produce.
So I stopped lying to myself, and I feel better for it. I have to admit, since I started paying attention to what I’m eating, I feel more alert, I have more energy, and I’m in a better mood. (At least some of the time! But there’s another lie to start working on…) I even get up at 5:45 a few mornings a week to go for my run. Now there’s energy for you!
And I’m happy to report I’ve dropped 13 pounds! It turns out I could lose some weight without starving myself. I just had to start paying attention to what I was eating. Now let’s see if the new, lighter me can kick my own ass at the 5K race on Saturday.
My best 5K time is 27:10. Can I beat it? We’ll find out on Saturday for sure… those insecurities are best left to another time! (Let’s just say I hope I’m not lying to myself again!)
Happy trails…
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Walk this way
Wow, has it really been almost two months since I updated my blog? I guess so! Things have been hectic, but I feel there is so much to write about.
First, let’s start with walking. As in the 10K power walking race I did at the end of April. I diligently followed the training schedule and made it through the walk with flying colours, clocking in at 1:09:26 and placing third in my age category (women under 40). Not bad for my first attempt!
But I can’t really say I loved the power walking. Sure, I love my Tread Powerfully classes (which, yes, involves power walking), but those classes are different. They incorporate a lot more muscle and strength training, and it’s not straight walking for an hour. We stop a lot and do muscle training segments, so it’s a completely different experience.
Power walking? It’s HARD. Physically, it’s almost as demanding as running. But the hardest part is mental, because no matter what, you cannot run. If you run, you will get disqualified from your race. One foot must be on the ground at all times or else! And that’s what I found hard. I don’t like being constantly worried about my gait. Part of why I like running is that it gives me time to set my mind free and work through any problems or issues I am having. If I have to concentrate too much on walking, I lose some of that “me” time I get with running.
So no matter how “good” I am at power walking (and good is, naturally, a relative term), I’m now back to running. I know I’ll never come in third place in a running race, but that’s okay by me. I’m doing this strictly for me, and as long as I continue to meet my own goals, I’m happy.
Now I’ve started training for the Moon in June 5K. I’m trying for a PR (hopefully under 27 minutes!), so my training plan involves a lot of speed intervals. I’m also sticking with the Tread Powerfully and strength training, because I find the more I do, the leaner my muscles.
And in even better news, my handsome hubby has agreed to run the 5K race as well! I’m excited that this is an experience we can share, and I really hope he enjoys race night as much as I do. He’s been following a training plan I devised for him, and hopefully he’ll do really well himself on race day. (Or, rather, race evening, since it starts at 9 p.m.!)
Finally, in the most exciting news of all, I just finished up my first feature for Canadian Running magazine! It’s coming out in the July issue, and it’s about how to lose weight while training. (Hmmm… wonder where that topic came from? I don’t obsess over that constantly, do I?) I’m very excited to be finally writing about running and I’m already thinking of new articles to pitch them.
So that’s about it for this short update, as I’m racing to go pick up my weekly order of organic vegetables (more on that later…), then pick up Andrew from a birthday party, come home and head to a meeting for Chris’ nursery school. There is much going on in my life these days, and I want to try and write about all of these changes. I’ve revamped my fitness routine (with Tread), changed my diet (finally cutting out most of the junk!) and I am really starting to feel like I am moving forward. How appropriate for a runner!
Happy trails…
First, let’s start with walking. As in the 10K power walking race I did at the end of April. I diligently followed the training schedule and made it through the walk with flying colours, clocking in at 1:09:26 and placing third in my age category (women under 40). Not bad for my first attempt!
But I can’t really say I loved the power walking. Sure, I love my Tread Powerfully classes (which, yes, involves power walking), but those classes are different. They incorporate a lot more muscle and strength training, and it’s not straight walking for an hour. We stop a lot and do muscle training segments, so it’s a completely different experience.
Power walking? It’s HARD. Physically, it’s almost as demanding as running. But the hardest part is mental, because no matter what, you cannot run. If you run, you will get disqualified from your race. One foot must be on the ground at all times or else! And that’s what I found hard. I don’t like being constantly worried about my gait. Part of why I like running is that it gives me time to set my mind free and work through any problems or issues I am having. If I have to concentrate too much on walking, I lose some of that “me” time I get with running.
So no matter how “good” I am at power walking (and good is, naturally, a relative term), I’m now back to running. I know I’ll never come in third place in a running race, but that’s okay by me. I’m doing this strictly for me, and as long as I continue to meet my own goals, I’m happy.
Now I’ve started training for the Moon in June 5K. I’m trying for a PR (hopefully under 27 minutes!), so my training plan involves a lot of speed intervals. I’m also sticking with the Tread Powerfully and strength training, because I find the more I do, the leaner my muscles.
And in even better news, my handsome hubby has agreed to run the 5K race as well! I’m excited that this is an experience we can share, and I really hope he enjoys race night as much as I do. He’s been following a training plan I devised for him, and hopefully he’ll do really well himself on race day. (Or, rather, race evening, since it starts at 9 p.m.!)
Finally, in the most exciting news of all, I just finished up my first feature for Canadian Running magazine! It’s coming out in the July issue, and it’s about how to lose weight while training. (Hmmm… wonder where that topic came from? I don’t obsess over that constantly, do I?) I’m very excited to be finally writing about running and I’m already thinking of new articles to pitch them.
So that’s about it for this short update, as I’m racing to go pick up my weekly order of organic vegetables (more on that later…), then pick up Andrew from a birthday party, come home and head to a meeting for Chris’ nursery school. There is much going on in my life these days, and I want to try and write about all of these changes. I’ve revamped my fitness routine (with Tread), changed my diet (finally cutting out most of the junk!) and I am really starting to feel like I am moving forward. How appropriate for a runner!
Happy trails…
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The half marathon
It’s taken me just over a week to even be able to write about the half marathon last week. I don’t know if it’s simply post-race letdown, post-race exhaustion, or just a general feeling of malaise, but I found myself unable to write about the race experience last week. There’s no other way to put it – I was bummed out.
Why? Well, I can’t exactly say why I was bummed, but I can rule out a few things. Was I disappointed with my results? Not on your life! When the chip times came in, I had run it in 2:10:50, which was faster than even my “excellent” goal. Quite honestly, I had no idea we could do it that fast. (Yes, when I say “we,” I mean the “fearsome foursome” who trained together since January.) And Mike and the boys came down to the route around the 10K mark, then were waiting for me at the finish line. That night, we all went out for a big dinner at the Mandarin to celebrate, which was also great. (Although poor Mike spent the night chasing a very wild Chris, who kept insisting he had to use the washroom.)
So why so unhappy? I think it’s a combination of quite a few things. One is simply let down after it was over. For weeks, we had a purpose. Every workout, every run, was geared toward this end goal. Suddenly, that was gone. And even though it was gone because I had accomplished that goal, it was still gone.
Another reason was the end of the race. We were running at a fantastic pace, keeping steady on the route. But around the 19K mark, my legs started to get tired. Really tired. I mean, tired to the point I felt like I wouldn’t be able to move them anymore. (And my right glute had been bothering me in the weeks leading up to the race. I had been stretching it and had gotten a good massage, but at 19K, it was making itself know.)
I still kept running, but when two of my running buddies surged at the end of the race, I couldn’t do it. I desperately wanted to keep up. I knew I SHOULD pour whatever I had left into keeping up with them so we could cross the line together. But I couldn’t. Something in me just couldn’t do it. At the time, I didn’t care. I said to myself, “if I come in 10 or 15 seconds behind them, so be it. I don’t want to run anymore.” But afterward, I was mad at myself. (I still am, a bit.) Why didn’t I push myself that little bit harder? Why did I completely crap out at the end? (Okay, not completely… I still ran and cross the finish line, 11 seconds behind my friends.) But I should have pushed that little bit harder. It’s like I know I didn’t quite do my best, and it’s haunting me a bit. I’m used to giving 100 percent, and I don’t think it was my best effort.
And the final reason for my bad mood? (I mean, my final running-related reason – like everyone, I have plenty of reason to be a bad mood with this economy and all the stresses of everyday life! But that stuff is par for the course… those stresses are ALWAYS around.) Well, as much as I have resolved not to worry about my weight/appearance – yeah, I’m still obsessing over it as much as ever.
Sigh. I still feel like I need to lose that last 10-20 pounds. (Ten pounds would be a big difference; 20 would be even better!) And I still see all the things I hate about my body when I look in the mirror. Yeah, I know that’s not right, but that’s the way I feel. And I’ve had a few weeks of feeling big, tall, fat and ungainly. I went shopping for new jeans after the race, and came away more depressed than ever. So that has certainly not helped my mood.
The real question is, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to give up and accept it, or am I going to make changes? Those who know me well know there’s really only one option. It’s time for a change.
First comes purpose. Being a member of Tread Powerfully has its benefits, not the least of which is a weekly e-mail from Sue, who is quickly becoming my guru of all things health, nutrition and fitness related. (We all need inspiration, and she is the perfect one for me. An extremely fit mother of two who believes in the benefit of regular exercise and runs her own successful business… hmm, wonder why I would look up to that?!) After the race, she sent out one about finding purpose in what we do. It reminded me that although one goal is accomplished, there are more waiting in the wings, and I need to use that purpose to move forward. (Like my all-important goal of running the Mississauga Marathon in 2010. Oh yeah, that goal!)
So I have tried to map out my purpose between now and May, 2010. (Of course, the letdown in May 2010 could be worse, so I will have to find a new purpose by then! But I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.) Here goes…
1. A 10K power walking race on April 26. Yeah, that’s right, power walking. I’ve run three 10K races since I started on this journey, but power walking is new to me. But the gang from Tread is gearing up to this race, and Sue has made a comprehensive training schedule for us, so I’m going to give this a shot. It’s totally different than running (ouch on the shins!), and it’s going to be weird not running for two months, but I’m up for the challenge.
2. The 5K Moon in June Race. Once the 10K is out of the way, I’m going to return to running. This time, though, I’m going for speed. Let’s see if I can come close to running a 25 minute 10K. I think my goal will be to break my best time of 27:10 for the 5K. If I don’t do 25, that’s okay, but something in the 26 minute range would be perfect.
3. The Scotiabank Half Marathon at the end of September. Yep, that’s half number two. The training at the Running Room starts in June, but the “Fearsome Foursome” might also be up for training together over the summer. I hope so, because I’d rather run with the Foursome!
4. The Boxing Day 10 miler in Hamilton on Dec. 26. Okay, this one is crazy… a 10 mile run (that’s 16 kilometers… not quite a half marathon) the day after Christmas. And did I mention that is also my 35th birthday? That’s exactly why I want to do it. I can’t think of a more inspiring way to kick off my 35th year than with this run.
5. The Mississauga Marathon in May, 2010. Enough said.
That means it’s off to the races again. No rest for the weary!
Oh, and what am I doing about the weight stuff? Well, I haven’t quite decided, but once the dust settles after income tax this year, I’m going to look into hiring Sue as a personal trainer. I need to build more muscle and I need to be held accountable for what I eat. I know WHAT to do, but I need someone to hold me accountable for doing it. I’m sure I will write more about that in blog posts to come.
In the meantime, I did my first speed interval power walk today, and I’m off to strength training class tonight.
Happy trails…
Why? Well, I can’t exactly say why I was bummed, but I can rule out a few things. Was I disappointed with my results? Not on your life! When the chip times came in, I had run it in 2:10:50, which was faster than even my “excellent” goal. Quite honestly, I had no idea we could do it that fast. (Yes, when I say “we,” I mean the “fearsome foursome” who trained together since January.) And Mike and the boys came down to the route around the 10K mark, then were waiting for me at the finish line. That night, we all went out for a big dinner at the Mandarin to celebrate, which was also great. (Although poor Mike spent the night chasing a very wild Chris, who kept insisting he had to use the washroom.)
So why so unhappy? I think it’s a combination of quite a few things. One is simply let down after it was over. For weeks, we had a purpose. Every workout, every run, was geared toward this end goal. Suddenly, that was gone. And even though it was gone because I had accomplished that goal, it was still gone.
Another reason was the end of the race. We were running at a fantastic pace, keeping steady on the route. But around the 19K mark, my legs started to get tired. Really tired. I mean, tired to the point I felt like I wouldn’t be able to move them anymore. (And my right glute had been bothering me in the weeks leading up to the race. I had been stretching it and had gotten a good massage, but at 19K, it was making itself know.)
I still kept running, but when two of my running buddies surged at the end of the race, I couldn’t do it. I desperately wanted to keep up. I knew I SHOULD pour whatever I had left into keeping up with them so we could cross the line together. But I couldn’t. Something in me just couldn’t do it. At the time, I didn’t care. I said to myself, “if I come in 10 or 15 seconds behind them, so be it. I don’t want to run anymore.” But afterward, I was mad at myself. (I still am, a bit.) Why didn’t I push myself that little bit harder? Why did I completely crap out at the end? (Okay, not completely… I still ran and cross the finish line, 11 seconds behind my friends.) But I should have pushed that little bit harder. It’s like I know I didn’t quite do my best, and it’s haunting me a bit. I’m used to giving 100 percent, and I don’t think it was my best effort.
And the final reason for my bad mood? (I mean, my final running-related reason – like everyone, I have plenty of reason to be a bad mood with this economy and all the stresses of everyday life! But that stuff is par for the course… those stresses are ALWAYS around.) Well, as much as I have resolved not to worry about my weight/appearance – yeah, I’m still obsessing over it as much as ever.
Sigh. I still feel like I need to lose that last 10-20 pounds. (Ten pounds would be a big difference; 20 would be even better!) And I still see all the things I hate about my body when I look in the mirror. Yeah, I know that’s not right, but that’s the way I feel. And I’ve had a few weeks of feeling big, tall, fat and ungainly. I went shopping for new jeans after the race, and came away more depressed than ever. So that has certainly not helped my mood.
The real question is, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to give up and accept it, or am I going to make changes? Those who know me well know there’s really only one option. It’s time for a change.
First comes purpose. Being a member of Tread Powerfully has its benefits, not the least of which is a weekly e-mail from Sue, who is quickly becoming my guru of all things health, nutrition and fitness related. (We all need inspiration, and she is the perfect one for me. An extremely fit mother of two who believes in the benefit of regular exercise and runs her own successful business… hmm, wonder why I would look up to that?!) After the race, she sent out one about finding purpose in what we do. It reminded me that although one goal is accomplished, there are more waiting in the wings, and I need to use that purpose to move forward. (Like my all-important goal of running the Mississauga Marathon in 2010. Oh yeah, that goal!)
So I have tried to map out my purpose between now and May, 2010. (Of course, the letdown in May 2010 could be worse, so I will have to find a new purpose by then! But I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.) Here goes…
1. A 10K power walking race on April 26. Yeah, that’s right, power walking. I’ve run three 10K races since I started on this journey, but power walking is new to me. But the gang from Tread is gearing up to this race, and Sue has made a comprehensive training schedule for us, so I’m going to give this a shot. It’s totally different than running (ouch on the shins!), and it’s going to be weird not running for two months, but I’m up for the challenge.
2. The 5K Moon in June Race. Once the 10K is out of the way, I’m going to return to running. This time, though, I’m going for speed. Let’s see if I can come close to running a 25 minute 10K. I think my goal will be to break my best time of 27:10 for the 5K. If I don’t do 25, that’s okay, but something in the 26 minute range would be perfect.
3. The Scotiabank Half Marathon at the end of September. Yep, that’s half number two. The training at the Running Room starts in June, but the “Fearsome Foursome” might also be up for training together over the summer. I hope so, because I’d rather run with the Foursome!
4. The Boxing Day 10 miler in Hamilton on Dec. 26. Okay, this one is crazy… a 10 mile run (that’s 16 kilometers… not quite a half marathon) the day after Christmas. And did I mention that is also my 35th birthday? That’s exactly why I want to do it. I can’t think of a more inspiring way to kick off my 35th year than with this run.
5. The Mississauga Marathon in May, 2010. Enough said.
That means it’s off to the races again. No rest for the weary!
Oh, and what am I doing about the weight stuff? Well, I haven’t quite decided, but once the dust settles after income tax this year, I’m going to look into hiring Sue as a personal trainer. I need to build more muscle and I need to be held accountable for what I eat. I know WHAT to do, but I need someone to hold me accountable for doing it. I’m sure I will write more about that in blog posts to come.
In the meantime, I did my first speed interval power walk today, and I’m off to strength training class tonight.
Happy trails…
Sunday, February 22, 2009
One week
It’s now one week away. My first half marathon, that is. Yes, it’s really only half the distance of my ultimate goal, but 21.1 km (13 miles) is nothing to sneeze at. It’s not exactly a walk in the park.
I have been fairly stressed out about how my training is going. I’ve been following Sue’s plan exclusively, and doing my long runs with the three women I met through Sue and Tread Powerfully. (We’re getting to be known as the “Fearsome Foursome,” which is a great name!) So far, we’ve been having a great time running together. We’re all moms, we all love to run and we all believe very strongly in the benefits of regular exercise. It’s nice to have a group to run with that I also have a lot in common with.
Still, I’ve been worried about the distance. Sue’s plan is short (9 weeks), and is, according to her, based on trying to run a half marathon while still working, having small children and having a life in general. There’s no hill training, just what feels like endless aerobic intervals (AIs) that I am really beginning to hate. Last Wednesday, for example, I had to do two 2-minute AIs, two 3-minute AIs and two 4-minute AIs. It’s tough… crazy tough. The idea is that by pushing the pace on your practice runs, your normal pace becomes more comfortable. I feel like it just tires me out! (Well, that and every run lately is over 10K, which isn’t always fun!)
Last weekend, we ran 18K, and yesterday I ran 13, and both felt pretty good. I’m having a bit of an issue with my glute muscle, but I have a massage booked on Wednesday and I’ve been stretching and taking Epsom salt baths. As long as it holds out, I think I’ll be okay.
Is that enough? That’s the real question. I have decided not to worry too much about my time. I know I will never run a two-hour half marathon, so what’s the point of even thinking about it? The point is to run the best I can run. Sure, those elite runners will finish it in an hour, and there are even plenty of men and women my age (and a lot older too), who will run it between 1:40 and 1:50. Are they in better shape than I am? Probably. But some people just naturally run faster than others. I’m in very good shape, and will do the best that I can do.
So what is that, realistically? I once read somewhere that you should have three goals: an “excellent” goal (what you can run if conditions are perfect), a “good” goal (something that will make you happy but takes into account race-day conditions) and a “if I do this I will be happy” goal (i.e. finishing the race.) So here are mine:
Excellent goal: 2:15 – 2:20
Good goal: 2:20 – 2:30
If I do this I will be happy: 2:30 – 2:40.
Anything more than 2:40 and I will be disappointed in my performance. As it stands after our 18K, I think I will come in somewhere around the 2:20 mark… maybe 2:23. I’ll make that my official guess.
This week, training takes a bit of a backseat as we start to rest before the race. I have two more runs, one AI run (but much shorter than usual), a Tread Powerfully class, an Intense Strength class and maybe I’ll find time to do one more short, easy run. On Saturday night, the plan is to have a nice spaghetti dinner, but no wine! Sunday morning breakfast will be a big bowl of oatmeal, then it’s off to the race for 10:05 a.m.
I’m nervous already!
Happy trails…
I have been fairly stressed out about how my training is going. I’ve been following Sue’s plan exclusively, and doing my long runs with the three women I met through Sue and Tread Powerfully. (We’re getting to be known as the “Fearsome Foursome,” which is a great name!) So far, we’ve been having a great time running together. We’re all moms, we all love to run and we all believe very strongly in the benefits of regular exercise. It’s nice to have a group to run with that I also have a lot in common with.
Still, I’ve been worried about the distance. Sue’s plan is short (9 weeks), and is, according to her, based on trying to run a half marathon while still working, having small children and having a life in general. There’s no hill training, just what feels like endless aerobic intervals (AIs) that I am really beginning to hate. Last Wednesday, for example, I had to do two 2-minute AIs, two 3-minute AIs and two 4-minute AIs. It’s tough… crazy tough. The idea is that by pushing the pace on your practice runs, your normal pace becomes more comfortable. I feel like it just tires me out! (Well, that and every run lately is over 10K, which isn’t always fun!)
Last weekend, we ran 18K, and yesterday I ran 13, and both felt pretty good. I’m having a bit of an issue with my glute muscle, but I have a massage booked on Wednesday and I’ve been stretching and taking Epsom salt baths. As long as it holds out, I think I’ll be okay.
Is that enough? That’s the real question. I have decided not to worry too much about my time. I know I will never run a two-hour half marathon, so what’s the point of even thinking about it? The point is to run the best I can run. Sure, those elite runners will finish it in an hour, and there are even plenty of men and women my age (and a lot older too), who will run it between 1:40 and 1:50. Are they in better shape than I am? Probably. But some people just naturally run faster than others. I’m in very good shape, and will do the best that I can do.
So what is that, realistically? I once read somewhere that you should have three goals: an “excellent” goal (what you can run if conditions are perfect), a “good” goal (something that will make you happy but takes into account race-day conditions) and a “if I do this I will be happy” goal (i.e. finishing the race.) So here are mine:
Excellent goal: 2:15 – 2:20
Good goal: 2:20 – 2:30
If I do this I will be happy: 2:30 – 2:40.
Anything more than 2:40 and I will be disappointed in my performance. As it stands after our 18K, I think I will come in somewhere around the 2:20 mark… maybe 2:23. I’ll make that my official guess.
This week, training takes a bit of a backseat as we start to rest before the race. I have two more runs, one AI run (but much shorter than usual), a Tread Powerfully class, an Intense Strength class and maybe I’ll find time to do one more short, easy run. On Saturday night, the plan is to have a nice spaghetti dinner, but no wine! Sunday morning breakfast will be a big bowl of oatmeal, then it’s off to the race for 10:05 a.m.
I’m nervous already!
Happy trails…
Sunday, January 25, 2009
An exercise in flexibility
I’ve never been a particularly flexible person, both literally and figuratively. In the literal sense, I have never been able to do deep stretches, or the splits, or stick my head down on my knee while stretching.
And in the more figurative sense, I’m also not a very flexible person. I don’t particularly like change (I know I’m not uncommon in that!), and when I get something into my head, I tend to stick with it.
But lately, I’m working hard on becoming more flexible, in both meanings of the word! First, I’ll just say a little bit about the physical flexibility side.
I’m now about five weeks away from my first half-marathon (on March 1), and I find I’m suffering a little. Tight quads, tight glutes… typical running stuff. And, like many runners, I’m not very good at stretching properly after a run. I’ve also been doing a lot of strength training, particularly during a once-a-week Intense Strength class.
To make a long story short, I need to stretch more and become more flexible, so I have decided to take up yoga. There’s a new “hot” yoga studio (where you practice yoga in a hot room) that also offers regular classes. I am definitely looking into that soon! In the meantime, I have taped a few yoga shows on my PVR, and I’m incorporating that into my training. I already feel a little better, and performed decently at the 8K Robbie Burns race I ran this morning. (45:51… about what I expected. I sure didn’t want it to be WORSE than that!)
Now on to the “emotional” flexibility I’m working on. I’ll start by backing up my story a little bit. The Intense Strength class I’m currently taking is part of a new group I’ve joined called Tread Powerfully (www.treadpowerfully.com). Run by a former instructor at my old gym, this new workout is unlike anything I’ve ever tried. It combines power walking with strength training and is a great workout. Sue, the creator/instructor, is also running the Intense Strength classes as part of it, which is an hour of intense training (hence the name!). I am really enjoying it… the muscle definition I’m getting, particularly in my arms, is great, and I’m really enjoying it. In fact, I’m enjoying it so much, I actually joined my mom up to come with me!
As far as the half marathon training was going, though, it was a different story. I had signed up with the half marathon clinic at the Running Room. And I have to confess, it was tough going. I had to keep missing classes because of my crazy schedule, and when I finally did get to go, I hardly knew anyone. The three people I did know were much, much faster runners than I am, and I struggled to keep up. I would end up running by myself, even on the long group runs. Pretty depressing, and I started to struggle with my training. I began to wonder if I’d even make it to the end. (And that’s shocking for me… I generally have a “stick-to-it-iveness” that means I get the job done.)
Right in the middle of this crisis, I received a very strange e-mail from Sue, the TP instructor. The e-mail said Sue was changing the meeting to a bar in Downtown Burlington so we could meet and talk about the training over drinks.
Huh? I was lost. What meeting? What training?
Two minutes later, a second e-mail popped into my inbox from Sue. It said, “I included you on my e-mail because I know you like to run. I’m getting a group together to train for the Chilly half marathon. It’s a plan I’ve used before, and I really like it because it’s not that strenuous and it’s geared toward moms who work, and have kids, and just don’t have time to be following a tough schedule. I thought you might like to train with us.”
I jumped at the chance, and met with the group that Friday night. Sue presented us each with our own personalized plan, and we talked about getting together as a group for our long runs. I asked my all-important question, “How fast does everyone run?”
Three of the women replied that they had done half marathons in about 2:15 – almost exactly what I estimate it will take me. (Assuming I have a good day, mind you. If it’s not a good day… well, that’s anyone’s guess. But given that I have run a 55 minute 10K, I think 2:15 is probably somewhat realistic.)
So I hooked up with the group and started running. At first, I was doing a mix of both Running Room training and Sue’s training, but lately I’ve been doing just Sue’s. It’s quite different… instead of hills and lots of “easy” runs, this plan relies on fewer, more intense runs. During the runs, you’re supposed to do something called “Aerobic Intervals,” (AIs) which is pushing your effort for a certain amount of time. We started with five to seven AIs at one minute a piece, and now are up to six AIs, three at two minutes and three at 2:30.
The plan also calls for “gentle pickups” at the end of some runs, where you gradually increase your speed and try to run a shorter distance at that speed. Then it calls for a “Tread Powerfully Turbo” class once a week, and the usual long slow distance run on Sundays.
The best part? No hills!! I know, I know… many people swear by hill training. But honestly, I haven’t had time to go to the hill training on Wednesday nights (I’ve already been out 2-3 nights a week as it is, and I was hardly seeing my kids!). And the Chilly half marathon is a FLAT course. Why on earth am I practicing by running up hills? (I think, however, if I was doing the very hilly Around the Bay race, I would definitely train on the hills.)
It was the perfect answer for me. And yet, I had a hard time making the decision to abandon the Running Room training and pick up Sue’s training. Why? Well, that’s where my inflexibility came into play. My PLAN had been to do the Running Room training. Why would I deviate from that plan? Could I deviate from that plan?
Well, I can and I did. I’m already happier for it. I have been running with those three women, and today, we crossed the finish line of our 8K race at the same time. I believe that with their help, I will make my half marathon goals and they will help me get to the finish line in one piece. This past week, I have felt stronger and better while running than I have in a long time. For a while there, I really thought I wouldn’t be able to run the half (never mind even THINK about running a full marathon next year). Now I think I can.
Five weeks and counting.
Happy trails…
And in the more figurative sense, I’m also not a very flexible person. I don’t particularly like change (I know I’m not uncommon in that!), and when I get something into my head, I tend to stick with it.
But lately, I’m working hard on becoming more flexible, in both meanings of the word! First, I’ll just say a little bit about the physical flexibility side.
I’m now about five weeks away from my first half-marathon (on March 1), and I find I’m suffering a little. Tight quads, tight glutes… typical running stuff. And, like many runners, I’m not very good at stretching properly after a run. I’ve also been doing a lot of strength training, particularly during a once-a-week Intense Strength class.
To make a long story short, I need to stretch more and become more flexible, so I have decided to take up yoga. There’s a new “hot” yoga studio (where you practice yoga in a hot room) that also offers regular classes. I am definitely looking into that soon! In the meantime, I have taped a few yoga shows on my PVR, and I’m incorporating that into my training. I already feel a little better, and performed decently at the 8K Robbie Burns race I ran this morning. (45:51… about what I expected. I sure didn’t want it to be WORSE than that!)
Now on to the “emotional” flexibility I’m working on. I’ll start by backing up my story a little bit. The Intense Strength class I’m currently taking is part of a new group I’ve joined called Tread Powerfully (www.treadpowerfully.com). Run by a former instructor at my old gym, this new workout is unlike anything I’ve ever tried. It combines power walking with strength training and is a great workout. Sue, the creator/instructor, is also running the Intense Strength classes as part of it, which is an hour of intense training (hence the name!). I am really enjoying it… the muscle definition I’m getting, particularly in my arms, is great, and I’m really enjoying it. In fact, I’m enjoying it so much, I actually joined my mom up to come with me!
As far as the half marathon training was going, though, it was a different story. I had signed up with the half marathon clinic at the Running Room. And I have to confess, it was tough going. I had to keep missing classes because of my crazy schedule, and when I finally did get to go, I hardly knew anyone. The three people I did know were much, much faster runners than I am, and I struggled to keep up. I would end up running by myself, even on the long group runs. Pretty depressing, and I started to struggle with my training. I began to wonder if I’d even make it to the end. (And that’s shocking for me… I generally have a “stick-to-it-iveness” that means I get the job done.)
Right in the middle of this crisis, I received a very strange e-mail from Sue, the TP instructor. The e-mail said Sue was changing the meeting to a bar in Downtown Burlington so we could meet and talk about the training over drinks.
Huh? I was lost. What meeting? What training?
Two minutes later, a second e-mail popped into my inbox from Sue. It said, “I included you on my e-mail because I know you like to run. I’m getting a group together to train for the Chilly half marathon. It’s a plan I’ve used before, and I really like it because it’s not that strenuous and it’s geared toward moms who work, and have kids, and just don’t have time to be following a tough schedule. I thought you might like to train with us.”
I jumped at the chance, and met with the group that Friday night. Sue presented us each with our own personalized plan, and we talked about getting together as a group for our long runs. I asked my all-important question, “How fast does everyone run?”
Three of the women replied that they had done half marathons in about 2:15 – almost exactly what I estimate it will take me. (Assuming I have a good day, mind you. If it’s not a good day… well, that’s anyone’s guess. But given that I have run a 55 minute 10K, I think 2:15 is probably somewhat realistic.)
So I hooked up with the group and started running. At first, I was doing a mix of both Running Room training and Sue’s training, but lately I’ve been doing just Sue’s. It’s quite different… instead of hills and lots of “easy” runs, this plan relies on fewer, more intense runs. During the runs, you’re supposed to do something called “Aerobic Intervals,” (AIs) which is pushing your effort for a certain amount of time. We started with five to seven AIs at one minute a piece, and now are up to six AIs, three at two minutes and three at 2:30.
The plan also calls for “gentle pickups” at the end of some runs, where you gradually increase your speed and try to run a shorter distance at that speed. Then it calls for a “Tread Powerfully Turbo” class once a week, and the usual long slow distance run on Sundays.
The best part? No hills!! I know, I know… many people swear by hill training. But honestly, I haven’t had time to go to the hill training on Wednesday nights (I’ve already been out 2-3 nights a week as it is, and I was hardly seeing my kids!). And the Chilly half marathon is a FLAT course. Why on earth am I practicing by running up hills? (I think, however, if I was doing the very hilly Around the Bay race, I would definitely train on the hills.)
It was the perfect answer for me. And yet, I had a hard time making the decision to abandon the Running Room training and pick up Sue’s training. Why? Well, that’s where my inflexibility came into play. My PLAN had been to do the Running Room training. Why would I deviate from that plan? Could I deviate from that plan?
Well, I can and I did. I’m already happier for it. I have been running with those three women, and today, we crossed the finish line of our 8K race at the same time. I believe that with their help, I will make my half marathon goals and they will help me get to the finish line in one piece. This past week, I have felt stronger and better while running than I have in a long time. For a while there, I really thought I wouldn’t be able to run the half (never mind even THINK about running a full marathon next year). Now I think I can.
Five weeks and counting.
Happy trails…
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Weighty issues
Now that work has (finally) slowed down, I can take a bit of writing time to myself. It’s funny that I write for a living, but never seem to find time to do the kind of writing that is good for my soul. I guess I wouldn’t be a writer if I didn’t find writing to be cathartic – when I’m feeling low, writing out my problems always makes me feel better.
These days, most of that writing doesn’t take the form of a diary, but rather lengthy e-mails to a few very good friends. One in particular is another writer (who knows exactly who she is). She is the frequent recipient of very long e-mails. I swear, we often write to each other instead of talking because writing comes so naturally to us.
But writing was also the point of starting this blog, and I’m hoping that over my upcoming vacation, I might actually find some time to write blog posts about several of the issues that have come up in my life and in my training. I have plenty of ideas for topics to write about, but never any time to execute them!
For two whole weeks, though, I won’t have to write about the top five key performance indicators in your warehouse (blergh) or about how some company improved its warehouse with voice-directed picking (double-blergh). For two weeks, I am going to spend time with my family and start thinking about the future.
I’ve been dealing with quite a few issues this fall. I won’t go into to too many of them here, partly because it would be really boring to drone on AGAIN about my sucky career (I have one job I love, one job I tolerate and one job I detest) and how my kids are driving me crazy. It’s also partly because this is supposed to be my outlet to write about the running/fitness side of my life. I mean, I deal with work and family issues all the time too, but I want to take some time to reflect on the stuff I do that’s just for me. And that’s the running and fitness activities.
(Coming soon… updates on strength training, a fantastic new walking group I joined this fall and some interesting changes to my half-marathon training!)
Today, however, I’ve got something on my mind that I just can’t shake. It started last weekend, when I went out with three girlfriends to celebrate one’s very special milestone birthday. We had a great idea of having a lunch, then heading to a local spa for pedicures. It was, without a doubt, the most fun “me” day I’ve had in a long time!
As we were waiting for our toenails to dry, one friend was chatting about her weight. This friend, never overweight to begin with, had embarked on a weight loss program in the summer and was incredibly successful. She, like so many of us, had been eager to lose the “last 10 pounds.” (We’re all addicted to that show, by the way! My friend even e-mail Tommy Europe to see if he would come to Ontario, but sadly, they only film in B.C.) Well, on Saturday, she was telling us that she’s kept all the weight off, even during this holiday party season.
Then she did something I have NEVER had the guts to do… she told us how much she weighed! And I had to admit, when I heard the number… I was jealous! Not jealous in a “gee, I think I hate you now” kind of way, but a “gosh, I would do ANYTHING to weigh that amount” kind of way.”
So I replied, “That is amazing! I would give anything to weigh that, but I can’t seem to lose any weight at all.” (This, as an aside, is true. Despite embarking on a very healthy eating plan this fall and all my working out – five to six days a week, which includes four runs and three strength training sessions, some of which are combined – I weigh exactly what I weighed when I finished Weight Watchers after losing my Christopher baby weight.)
Now, our other friend piped up. I should explain that this friend, the birthday girl herself, is perhaps the most overwhelmingly positive person I’ve ever met. She sees good in everything, and has truly learned about the power of positive thinking. I find her an inspiration, and have been trying to be more positive myself under her influence. (Not that it works very often, being the cynical, journalist type that I am, but I am TRYING to have a more positive outlook!)
She said, “That’s why you’re not losing weight! It’s all in your attitude!” And she wouldn’t listen to any of my arguments to the contrary. Not about my reasonably healthy diet, nor my hectic training schedule. And she was so adamant, it got me thinking: was she right?
I’ve had a few days to reflect on it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that, no, she’s not right – but she is right. I realize that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it did open my eyes to certain things.
No, I don’t believe my inability to lose weight is a result of my attitude, but I DO think I need to change my attitude. I think there is one very good reason why I’m not losing weight – I’m at the weight my body thinks I should be at. It’s my MIND that is hung up on the number on the scale.
This is NOT the part where I disclose my weight on the Internet for all and sundry to read! But I will disclose the following details:
1. I am 5’11” tall. No matter how hard I try, or how much I exercise and weight train, I will NOT become a 5’2” size 0. Never going to happen.
2. I just bought a pair of pants from Lululemon in a size four. That is the smallest size I’ve ever worn in my life – even when I was a teenager and was the lightest I’ve ever been.
3. I have a body mass index of 22, which is considered a normal, healthy weight.
4. I weight train 2-3 times a week, including one very intense, one-hour strength training class per week.
And that’s where I think my friend might be right… my problem is my attitude. Maybe I weigh exactly what I am supposed to weigh. Just because, psychologically, I don’t like the number on the scale, it doesn’t mean that I need to lose weight. Instead of worrying about shedding pounds, maybe I should start shedding my own bad attitude and misconceptions about what I “should” weigh and just enjoy being fit and healthy.
Of course, I’m sure I could lose weight… if I starved myself, or denied myself every single pleasure I get out of life. I could refuse to put anything in my mouth that wasn’t 100% healthy… but then, while I might be thin, I would be miserable. I like having a glass of wine on a Friday night. I like nibbling on appetizers at a party. I like having dessert once in a while. And while I do have to be careful not to go overboard, I also work out so that I can “afford” to enjoy my food.
So really, my friend was right. My problem IS my attitude. Why am I so obsessed with the number on the scale? If I can drink wine, eat cheese, grab a Starbucks Chai, or pop a few French fries in my mouth and still buy a size four pant, why let a stupid number – a number that medical authorities tell me is a healthy number – bother me?
Of course, that is easier said than done. We all obsess over that number, all the time. But I am really going to try to focus on a few other numbers for a while, including:
-21.1 (kilometers; the distance of a half marathon)
-10 (pounds; the weight I want to be able to lift through my entire strength training class)
-4 (the size of my Lululemon pants)
-5’11” (my height)
-22 (my BMI)
In the new year, I might also investigate getting my body fat tested. I’d like to know, really, what is my percentage of body fat? Everyone swears up and down that muscle weighs more than fat. Is it true? Maybe it does… I certainly work out enough to have quite a bit of muscle. What if the scale says one thing, but I find out I’ve got 20% body fat? Or 15%? Will that make a difference to my attitude?
I’m certainly willing to try. Because the biggest problem isn’t my weight… it’s how it’s weighing on my mind.
Happy trails…
These days, most of that writing doesn’t take the form of a diary, but rather lengthy e-mails to a few very good friends. One in particular is another writer (who knows exactly who she is). She is the frequent recipient of very long e-mails. I swear, we often write to each other instead of talking because writing comes so naturally to us.
But writing was also the point of starting this blog, and I’m hoping that over my upcoming vacation, I might actually find some time to write blog posts about several of the issues that have come up in my life and in my training. I have plenty of ideas for topics to write about, but never any time to execute them!
For two whole weeks, though, I won’t have to write about the top five key performance indicators in your warehouse (blergh) or about how some company improved its warehouse with voice-directed picking (double-blergh). For two weeks, I am going to spend time with my family and start thinking about the future.
I’ve been dealing with quite a few issues this fall. I won’t go into to too many of them here, partly because it would be really boring to drone on AGAIN about my sucky career (I have one job I love, one job I tolerate and one job I detest) and how my kids are driving me crazy. It’s also partly because this is supposed to be my outlet to write about the running/fitness side of my life. I mean, I deal with work and family issues all the time too, but I want to take some time to reflect on the stuff I do that’s just for me. And that’s the running and fitness activities.
(Coming soon… updates on strength training, a fantastic new walking group I joined this fall and some interesting changes to my half-marathon training!)
Today, however, I’ve got something on my mind that I just can’t shake. It started last weekend, when I went out with three girlfriends to celebrate one’s very special milestone birthday. We had a great idea of having a lunch, then heading to a local spa for pedicures. It was, without a doubt, the most fun “me” day I’ve had in a long time!
As we were waiting for our toenails to dry, one friend was chatting about her weight. This friend, never overweight to begin with, had embarked on a weight loss program in the summer and was incredibly successful. She, like so many of us, had been eager to lose the “last 10 pounds.” (We’re all addicted to that show, by the way! My friend even e-mail Tommy Europe to see if he would come to Ontario, but sadly, they only film in B.C.) Well, on Saturday, she was telling us that she’s kept all the weight off, even during this holiday party season.
Then she did something I have NEVER had the guts to do… she told us how much she weighed! And I had to admit, when I heard the number… I was jealous! Not jealous in a “gee, I think I hate you now” kind of way, but a “gosh, I would do ANYTHING to weigh that amount” kind of way.”
So I replied, “That is amazing! I would give anything to weigh that, but I can’t seem to lose any weight at all.” (This, as an aside, is true. Despite embarking on a very healthy eating plan this fall and all my working out – five to six days a week, which includes four runs and three strength training sessions, some of which are combined – I weigh exactly what I weighed when I finished Weight Watchers after losing my Christopher baby weight.)
Now, our other friend piped up. I should explain that this friend, the birthday girl herself, is perhaps the most overwhelmingly positive person I’ve ever met. She sees good in everything, and has truly learned about the power of positive thinking. I find her an inspiration, and have been trying to be more positive myself under her influence. (Not that it works very often, being the cynical, journalist type that I am, but I am TRYING to have a more positive outlook!)
She said, “That’s why you’re not losing weight! It’s all in your attitude!” And she wouldn’t listen to any of my arguments to the contrary. Not about my reasonably healthy diet, nor my hectic training schedule. And she was so adamant, it got me thinking: was she right?
I’ve had a few days to reflect on it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that, no, she’s not right – but she is right. I realize that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it did open my eyes to certain things.
No, I don’t believe my inability to lose weight is a result of my attitude, but I DO think I need to change my attitude. I think there is one very good reason why I’m not losing weight – I’m at the weight my body thinks I should be at. It’s my MIND that is hung up on the number on the scale.
This is NOT the part where I disclose my weight on the Internet for all and sundry to read! But I will disclose the following details:
1. I am 5’11” tall. No matter how hard I try, or how much I exercise and weight train, I will NOT become a 5’2” size 0. Never going to happen.
2. I just bought a pair of pants from Lululemon in a size four. That is the smallest size I’ve ever worn in my life – even when I was a teenager and was the lightest I’ve ever been.
3. I have a body mass index of 22, which is considered a normal, healthy weight.
4. I weight train 2-3 times a week, including one very intense, one-hour strength training class per week.
And that’s where I think my friend might be right… my problem is my attitude. Maybe I weigh exactly what I am supposed to weigh. Just because, psychologically, I don’t like the number on the scale, it doesn’t mean that I need to lose weight. Instead of worrying about shedding pounds, maybe I should start shedding my own bad attitude and misconceptions about what I “should” weigh and just enjoy being fit and healthy.
Of course, I’m sure I could lose weight… if I starved myself, or denied myself every single pleasure I get out of life. I could refuse to put anything in my mouth that wasn’t 100% healthy… but then, while I might be thin, I would be miserable. I like having a glass of wine on a Friday night. I like nibbling on appetizers at a party. I like having dessert once in a while. And while I do have to be careful not to go overboard, I also work out so that I can “afford” to enjoy my food.
So really, my friend was right. My problem IS my attitude. Why am I so obsessed with the number on the scale? If I can drink wine, eat cheese, grab a Starbucks Chai, or pop a few French fries in my mouth and still buy a size four pant, why let a stupid number – a number that medical authorities tell me is a healthy number – bother me?
Of course, that is easier said than done. We all obsess over that number, all the time. But I am really going to try to focus on a few other numbers for a while, including:
-21.1 (kilometers; the distance of a half marathon)
-10 (pounds; the weight I want to be able to lift through my entire strength training class)
-4 (the size of my Lululemon pants)
-5’11” (my height)
-22 (my BMI)
In the new year, I might also investigate getting my body fat tested. I’d like to know, really, what is my percentage of body fat? Everyone swears up and down that muscle weighs more than fat. Is it true? Maybe it does… I certainly work out enough to have quite a bit of muscle. What if the scale says one thing, but I find out I’ve got 20% body fat? Or 15%? Will that make a difference to my attitude?
I’m certainly willing to try. Because the biggest problem isn’t my weight… it’s how it’s weighing on my mind.
Happy trails…
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